your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
