I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Randomize
