smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
