I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
