Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize