how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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