so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
