Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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