fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
