Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
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