I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
