My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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