I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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