I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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