the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Dick very happy bro
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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