What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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