at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
