we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
