It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm always down for nudity.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
