I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
