this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
