My nipple is on Facebook.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
i think i just lost a toe
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
