I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize