I bet he comes in French.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
