google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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