I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize