So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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