I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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