i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
