I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
