"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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