the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
