So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
