Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i would punch a child for taco bell
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My pussy is not your playground.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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