Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
