I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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