big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
