he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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