so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
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I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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