I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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