I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
