The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
