Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
