i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
