Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
