we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
