shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
