where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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