Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize