Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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