STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
