I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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