I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
