bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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