you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm at about main and main street
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
