My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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